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Reviews

Grading Method
Here's a breakdown of what the grades mean in our grading sytem.

Philosophy of Reviews held by Haze-man

Hey, folks. I am the Haze-man and I have been a fan of Anime and entertainment media since before I can remember. I'm not creating this page because of my own ego (which is rather large...), I'm creating this page because I am deeply unsatisfied with the critical reviews I seen in newspapers and magazines. I find that the don't give practical information about the media that deserve it, and when they do, they lack the background knowledge and insight to truly see them for what they are.

I am starting this page for the Anime, Movies, Video, CD's and Video games so that I can share what I know with the others on the web. I don't pretend that my opinion is RIGHT or even some sort of genius. But I do believe that I have acquired sufficient knowledge to make the reviews that others can use to make informed decisions about which items they'd like to buy.

Atlantis: The Lost Empire

  • Theatrical Movie
  • Disney
  • PG
  • 96 min.
  • Genre: Fantasy
  • Grade: D

    Where to begin? I know you must think it odd that a Disney movie is reviewed here. Well let me just state that I am an avid anime fan and I do hate Disney. I hate Disney with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns. However, what I hate is Disney the corporation. The Disney corporation is the one who has created a stigma among Americans that makes animation for "families" only. Nonetheless, that doesn't change that fact that Disney animated movies are actually quite good. In fact, Disney animation has produced the best animated feature films of all time. Period. Suffice it to say that I have the ability to step outside of my personal politics and deliver an even-handed measurement of this movies merits. With that said this movie sucked.

    The sad thing is I really wanted to like this movie. I was so happy that Disney had taken a step forward to make a PG film. They replaced the stuffed toy product placement with gunplay, explosions and faceless minions. Sadly, it takes more than big booms to make a good action flick, or even a good fantasy. The movie does have amazing animation, but in this case, great animation seems to be a burden rather than blessing. Let me explain:

    This film sets a lovable crew of misfits on a fantastic adventure. The problem is the movie has far too many characters presented in too short a time for the audience to really feel for them. If Disney had decided to cut the framerate and budget their time differently, the could have made a 2 hour movie that had more feeling. The wouldn't pass by at a stunning 35 frames per second, but at least we'd CARE what happened to them!

    Does the movie have great effects? Yes. Does it have catchy one-liners? Yes. Is it enough to make this a worthwhile film? No. The only thing that saved this movie from getting an F would be the possibility that Disney could make a TV series from it. With a whole series devoted to it, we'd get to know the characters better and fully explore the new world Disney has created. I'm sure kids and pre-teens will love it and I'm sure it will make Disney lots of money. Good for them. They didn't win me over.

    Available at Disney

    Pokemon 3

    • Theatrical Movie
    • Dubbed/ Americanized
    • Genre: Monsters
    • Kids WB/ 4kids Entertainment/ Nintendo
    • GRADE: A

    There are many reasons to create web content. Most do it to socialize or pay homage to their favorite shows. Another reason is because they can't find what they want on the web. My reason is the latter. I've tryied to find even-handed and fair fan-reviews of this movie for a while, and have failed, so I take matters into my own hand.

    The media fury and box office rewards for the 3rd Pokemon feature are the smallest in Pokemon history, which is a damn shame because this movie is leaps and bounds above the other two, both in terms of visual affects, story and overall fun.

    The movie begins (as usual) with a dialogue free pikachu short. This time, Pikachu meets two baby pikachu (pichu) and goes through a modern retelling of the "Country Mouse / City Mouse " fable. This short is naturally aimed at the VERY young children in the audience. There isn't much here for the adults except the breathtaking "deep canvas" techniques first pioneered in Disney's "Tarzan". I'll get to those later.

    After the short, it's time for the main event. The story concerns an eight year old girl, Molly, being raised by her archeologist father, Professor Spencer Hale. We see Hale read his daughter a bedtime story about Legendary Pokemon, including Entei. Molly comments that her father looks like Entei. The touching moment is cut short as Hale receives an email about a new set of ruins. Father is once again off to work, leaving her daughter alone in a very Big and Empty mansion. The scene turns even more tragic when the dig surfaces a Pandora's Box filled with Unown Runes and Hale gets sucked into it. Hale's assistant, Skyler, must return and tell Molly that her Father isn't coming back.

    Here the movie gets weird. And by "weird" I mean "far more entertaining than the first two movies combined". Molly gets into the Pandora's Box and plays with the Runes as if they were letters, trying to bring her father back. The Unown Pokemon appear and grant her wish by creating Entei, the Legendary Pokemon, to replace Molly's Father. Entei has no problem being Molly's surrogate father and begins acting as herald of the Unown as he grants Molly's every wish.

    And so we have a dire situation of a distraught and lonely child being given God-like power, not unlike that episode of the Twilight Zone, "It's a Good Life". Naturally, Molly's power spreads out of control as the Unown begin to recreate the Earth to Molly's whim; turning the buildings and fields of flowers into lifeless glass.

    Ash and crew get sucked into the epic battle as they are hiking along in typical Pokemon fashion. They meet Lisa, wonderfully portrayed by Lisa Ortiz, who challenges Ash to a Pokemon Battle to serve as the opening title. Lisa seems to be modeled after the female playable character in the upcoming Pokemon Crystal game. What would have been an ordinary day in the life of Pokemon is rudely interrupted when Entei grants Molly's wish for a Mom by kidnapping Ash's! You can try to take over the world, you can kidnap his Pikachu, but when you mess with a trainer's Mom, it gets personal!

    With that said, the movie does have its flaws. The Pikachu short may be too childish for adults and the Entei story may be too adult for children. The movie walks a fine line and some would say it falls off at one point or another. Despite the seriousness of the Entei plot, it still has the childlike innocents and at the end everyone is friends again.

    As Stated before, the movie used integrated 3D techniques for it's backgrounds that are absolutely breathtaking, not to mention the fact that they enhance the storytelling. The real hallmark of this film, however, is that it has characters that you can actually FEEL for. It may not be STAR WARS, but its heavy story makes is much more palatable for all ages. By "all ages" I mean "the parents that got dragged to the flick by their kids".

    Even if you hated the first two, I insist you give the 3rd movie a shot. At the very least there's a lot more explosions.

    Available at pokemon.com

    Saber Marionette J

    • Volume 1
    • Eps. 1-4
    • Subtitled
    • 100 min.
    • Genre: Anime
    • Media: Anime
    • AnimeVillage.com
    • GRADE: D

    This Anime is what I like to call an "ANIME ANIME". It is a show which does not fit into any genre catagory, but possess those unique characteristics that come to mind when we think of Anime. Cute Girls. Mecha. Lots of Color. The show is set in the far future, where 6 men are stranded on a far away planet. To solve the reproduction problem, they turn to genetic engeneering and cloning. It seems that each of the six was from a different world nation; and each recreated their nation with a population of their clones. To solve the other void in their lives, they turned to Robotic Women called "Marionetes".

    Thus Creating the Ideal "Anime" world, or rather, the ideal adolesent boy's world. Our Hero Otaru is poor and hardworking, yet he lives without the bane of parents in a "shody" apartment that actually looks quite spacious and comfortable. On top of that, he gets 3 gorgous babes all to himself. These marionettes get him "into thouble", of course, but nothing they can't handle.

    I have to admitt that if I encountered this Anime when I was 14, I would have thought it was the best thing since sliced bread. And I love my sliced bread. But now that I'm 21 and more mature (haha), I find myself wanting more from my anime. To not say that the Animation, Design, Music and Directing are far above par would be a crime. And there is a deeper, sci-fi political plot beneath the overt hijinks, however, the story would make better social comentary if the girls didn't enjoy being Otaru's slaves so much. Despite its strongpoints, I see this as being very limited in the audience it can be appreciated by. I probably will buy more of it to catch the ongoing story, but it's far from the top of my shopping list.

    Still, the young boys do need something to watch.
    Available at AnimeVillage.com

    The Exorcist

    • Theatrical Movie
    • Live Action
    • Genre: Horror
    • Re-release
    • Based on a Novel by: William Peter Blatty
    • GRADE: A

    There are alot of great movies out there. Occasionally when I have free time, I head down to the Blockbuster and rent a random movie that is considered a classic, yet one I have not yet seen. Things like "2001: A Space Odessy" or "The Longest Day". Needless to say there have been dozens of classics that have appeared before my time. Because of this, getting a chance to see a classic in the movie theatre is a true delight.

    I had never seen "The Exocist" before in my 21 years of earthly dwelling, and after seeing it, I regret waiting so long. This new version with "never seen before footage" is a tremendous movie. I only regret never having seen the original for a comparison. Of course, I could always to go Blockbuster...

    There are, however, a few notes I should make about the movie, to help filmgoers know if it is right for them. First, this film is scary! Very scary. However, it does not follow the typical "horror movie format", we've come to scrutize with the "Scream" series. No, there isn't a group of people gradually lessened in number over the course of the film (not that the possessed Linda Blair doesn't kill people). Instead, the scares come as we see poor Reagan's condition worsen. The movie presents a real family to us, and we experience the horror of someone in our own family falling violently into corruption. The one oddity (not neccsarily a downfall) of the movie is the "climax", the actual exorcism scene. Yes, they do exorcise the demon, but it is more of a resolution than a climax. The real climax of the movie is when Father Dameon comes to grips with the fact that Reagan is really possessed and that there are things in the universe beyond our understanding; a realization that is illusive and seems to happen between scenes.

    All in all, this movie is a real winner, with mystery, suspense, terror, and even respect. This is a must see. Don't make the same mistake I did by waiting for the video!
    Available at Warner Brothers

    Background of Haze Studios


    Haze Studios is the personal creation of the Haze-man, a comic book artist from New Jersey. Haze-man is on a mission to ensure that comics take there rightful place in the world of communication. Haze-man works for an era where comics are regarded as a medium and not a genre and are enjoyed by people from all walks of life.

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